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TEN COMMANDMENTS OF BINGO
1. Thou shall not sit in thy neighbors lucky seat.
2. Thou shall not stare at thy neighbors card.
3. Thou shall not take the Callers name in vain.
4. Thou shall not call false "Bingo".
5. Thou shall not wish bad luck on thy neighbor.
6. Thou shall not threaten to kill the "Caller".
7. Thou shall not steal thy husband's money for Bingo.
8. Thou shall not brag about how much thou hast won.
9. Thou shall not whine about how much thou hast lost.
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's winnings.
BLONDES AND BINGO
The local bingo hall was hosting a Ladies Only Night for blondes. It was a huge success with a great turnout of blonde headed women.
Not one single person had a BINGO all night long and the jackpot had built up to $3500 for the last game of blackout.
The game drags on and on and finally B-12 was called but no one shouted “Bingo!”
The frustrated caller throws the Bingo Machine off the stage and starts shouting at all the blondes.
“I’ve just called every dang one of these 75 balls in this machine and nobody has a Bingo? Just what number are you ladies waiting for?”
All 500 blonde ladies shouted in unison “FREE SPACE!”
BLONDES AND BINGO, NUMBER 2
Betty, a brunette, and Hilda, a natural blonde, went together to play the slot machines at their local Bingo Hall. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the Bingo Hall and sit on the bench to wait for her friend.
Betty quickly lost all of her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited and waited and waited. Hours later she saw Hilda coming toward her carrying a huge sack of coins.
"Hey, Betty," said Hilda, "how'd you do?" "Well, Hilda", said Betty, "you see me here on this bench- what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though."
"Oh yeah," said Betty, "did I find a good machine! It's way in the back. You just can’t seem to lose. Every time you put a dollar in the machine, four quarters come out!”
BLONDES AND BINGO, NUMBER 3
The concession stand at a local bingo hall was trying to increase business so it started offering its own pull tab for people who bought their large cup of coffee. Prizes on the pull tab were for free food and small prizes at the food counter. A blonde gets her pull tab, peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch."
But the blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"
Finally the concession stand owner comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"
The blonde says, "No it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!" She hands the ticket to the manager and he reads...
"W I N A B A G E L"
EVEN OLD MEN CAN ACT LIKE BLONDES
Two old men are playing Bingo in the church, John and Tom. John keeps looking over Tom's shoulder and says: "you've got that number, mark it off, you've got that number mark it off." After doing this for quite some time Tom gets annoyed and says: "why don't you do your own card?" Where upon John answers: "I can't it's full!"
TRUST ME, I WON IT ALL AT BINGO
This guy had a very attractive wife, who was always wanting clothes, jewelry, etc., but he was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond necklace. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"
His wife replied, "I won it at bingo."
The next night she came home with a mink coat. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"
His wife replied, "I won it at bingo."
The next night she came home with a Mercedes Benz. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"
His wife replied, "Look!! Don't keep asking where I get my things! Go upstairs and run my bath for me!"
His wife came upstairs to find a small amount of water in the tub. The wife asked, "How come you put so little water in the tub?"
He replied, "I didn't want to get your bingo card wet!"
BINGOS AND CASINOS
Two longtime friends liked to play bingo every Friday night and discuss their husbands who also liked to gamble.
“My husband’s going to a casino in central Asia,” says one elderly Bingo player to another.
“Of course,” the old woman says, quite annoyed. “Why else would he go to a casino?”
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